the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
