i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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