I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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