he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
