you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
