I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
