ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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