I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
