I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
