Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
