tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
