u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
