I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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