I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
