dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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