You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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