so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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