she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Who died my cat blue again?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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