My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
its liver damage thursday
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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