just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
