areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Four minutes until I can fart!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
i now understand why vodka
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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