Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
