It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
