the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
