can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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