There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Everclear isn't food dammit
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
