Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
