my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
MIDGETS
????
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
