Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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