I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
