The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
