I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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