Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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