One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
