i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
