then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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