it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
