I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
