Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
