I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
