you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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