My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
