party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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