I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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