Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the day after is always just damage control
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
