batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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