you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
