So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
