that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
