Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
