That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
