guys are not supposed to queef...right?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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